XXXVII. Bridging the Political Divide

I’ve grown up being taught that there is a heaven and a hell, and for the first part of my life, all good vs. evil, us vs. them, has flowed from that simple framework. There’s one place you want to aspire to up there, and another you want to avoid down here. The older I get, I see these more as metaphors for describing the unknown.

However, if there is truly a hell, a hell in my mind is to share an eternal space with the people you hate the most.

Let that sink in a moment.

How miserable would it be if you were eternally glued to people you despise?

It could be fitting.

We spend so much time living on hate and anger, why not reward us with a hell that gives us more of it?

I remind myself of this as this election season is fueling the vitriol. De-humanizing is a powerful tool which is why you hear name-calling, labels, and middle school-style bullying more than substance.

But then something happened.

This week, the nation experienced one of those moments that etch themselves into our collective memory. My father could always recount where he was when the news of President Kennedy's assassination broke. For me, it was the tragic explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger that seared itself into my mind. And now, President Biden's unexpected announcement on Sunday that he would step down as the Democratic nominee has joined the ranks of these unforgettable events. Time seemed to pause, holding its breath, before rushing forward to make sense of the new reality.

He willingly gave up his path to power. It is so rare that you can count the times it happened on your fingers. And that’s the lesson not to be missed.

True leadership often manifests in unexpected ways. Consider George Washington, who willingly relinquished power after two terms as president, setting a precedent that lasted until Franklin D. Roosevelt. Washington didn’t even want to serve a second term, but was concerned over the actions of some of his fellow founding fathers. Three terms was too much, and he walked away despite efforts to keep him there. He chose democratic principles over personal ambition, so revolutionary an example that we still use it today.

Another exemplar of authentic leadership is Nelson Mandela. After enduring 27 years of imprisonment, Mandela emerged to lead South Africa's transition from apartheid to democracy, literally walking from prison to the presidency. His willingness to forgive his oppressors and work toward national reconciliation showcased extraordinary moral courage and selflessness. (I highly recommend Long Walk to Freedom).

Let’s take someone continually labeled by right-wing media. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the youngest woman ever elected to Congress, defeated a powerful incumbent despite limited resources and establishment support. She did it the old-fashioned way of knocking on doors and creating relationships with working-class voters. Regardless of one's political leanings, her grassroots campaign and commitment to representing her constituents exemplify the type of public service we say we want to see (Check out Knock Down the House for an educational documentary on her David & Goliath campaign).

The January 6, 2021 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol starkly illustrated the fragility of our democratic system. Yet, in the aftermath of this crisis, we also saw examples of true leadership. Republican Congresswoman Liz Cheney, despite knowing that it would likely cost her seat, stood up for democratic principles by serving on the January 6 committee and speaking out against attempts to undermine the 2020 election results. So did Adam Kinzinger, who chose leadership over position.

These examples illuminate a crucial truth: democracy requires involvement. It requires active participation from an informed and engaged citizenry beyond voting. It involves staying informed through reliable news sources, taking part in something, and supporting elected officials who have some wisdom. It means being willing to engage in respectful dialogue with those who hold different views and recognizing that compromise is often necessary in a diverse society.

This could mean having discussions with people who support things you hate.

The responsibility of maintaining a healthy democracy doesn't solely rest on the shoulders of our leaders — it's a collective effort. We’ve got to learn to talk again without this animus. To that end, here’s some tips to consider.

1. Practice active listening: Instead of immediately trying to change their mind, genuinely listen to the other person’s perspective. Just shut up and listen, then be ready to ask open-ended questions. Try to understand the underlying reasons for their support. Build some trust.

2. Foster self-reflection: The key to this is knowing thyself first, then you have a base from which to encourage the person to examine their beliefs critically by asking thought-provoking questions. For example, "What would it take for you to change your mind about this candidate?" or "How do you verify the information you receive about them?"

3. Provide diverse information sources: Gently introduce the person to a variety of reputable news sources and fact-checking websites. Encourage them to cross-reference information and consider multiple perspectives before forming opinions. (See this article on the damage done by Fox “News”).

4. Highlight shared values: Focus on finding common ground rather than differences. Discuss how these shared interests align (or don't) with the actions and policies of the candidate in question. This may be the most valuable tip. Media never covers commonalities. The search alone could be beneficial.

5. Model critical thinking: Instead of telling a person they're wrong (no matter how much you want to), demonstrate your process of evaluating political claims and candidates. Share how you research issues, consider different viewpoints, and arrive at your conclusions. This may be the most difficult tip, for critical thinking means time and effort, not quick and easy.

It's crucial to approach such conversations with empathy and respect, avoiding confrontational or condescending language. If you don’t have the patience for this, then know thyself and get out. Find other ways to make a difference. Remember that change often happens gradually, and the person will most likely need time to process new information and perspectives.

This is real work.

Much of the population has become accustomed to passive political theater. If you can turn one person to engagement instead of anger, you’ve done well. The health of our republic depends on your ability to do these things.

It depends upon us to love positive action more than empty angry words.

• The push to change the facts or ignore them. What’s the purpose?

• Democracy Awakening is a walk through American history with a professional guide—a powerful and thought-provoking read.

• You need a film to ground you in simplicity and peace? Perfect Days is a must-watch.

Please pay attention to this.

The first effort to discredit an opponent is to label them - to steal their identity. It is the typical method of de-sensitizing people to a person’s abilities. It's a short and interesting read. Leaders must be judged by their potential for the right action. Efforts like this are so juvenile that one has a hard time understanding how adults become prey to this kind of thinking. I love a woman who can laugh. And in this case, I think it shows a serious woman who doesn't take herself too seriously. Besides, laughter is good medicine for coping with life.

Neil Armstrong was a quiet leader known for his humility and dedication. Despite his historic achievement, he shunned the spotlight and gave credit to those around him. A skilled test pilot and engineer, colleagues described Armstrong as focused, intelligent, and unflappable under pressure. I think when you get to the moon and can look back to Earth, you realize just how much nonsense we waste our time on.

The closest I ever got to this caliber of a man was standing a few feet away from John Glenn in New York in 1992. While it takes a special breed to do what they did, it is also a testament to good governance. When policymakers have a forward-thinking vision and ambitious goals, and they assemble a capable team, we achieve remarkable outcomes.

America is at its best when policies support and encourage the public to do great things.

The answers are always there if we see them.

Thank you for reading. I hope you’ll share this piece with others and invite them to subscribe. Keep up your regular reading habit, practice your gratefulness, and remember: Be a good human.